The gap between Saturday and Monday is WAY shorter than a day. It’s like, I dunno, relative I guess.

That’s a time joke.

Or a Doctor Who joke, I’m not entirely sure. Either way, Monday, no matter who you are, shows up too early.

I had a shower thought this Monday (LITERALLY I thought of this while taking a shower): “Good movies are usually, firstly, awesome books written by awesome geeks. Whereas Bad Movies that were good books are usually bad because some Hollywood putz fucked it up.”

Oh yeah, this post will not be safe to read in a work environment. Repeat: NSFW

Examples of the aforementioned: Stardust by Neil Gaiman, The Martian by Andy Weir (AWESOME movies that were first AWESOME books) The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien (AWESOME book…Movie? kinda blows) and I think this phenomenon has to do with how much of the original story was tweaked to fit it into the Hollywood archetype. I dunno. I’m just bitchin’ about stuff.


None of what I just bitched about is relevant to what I mainly wanted to bitch about this fine Monday. Religious things. As Easter (A historically pagan holiday turned Christian) was yesterday I felt this topic was appropriate. I might only bring it up once, so pay attention. Or, like, stop reading, I don’t give a fuck.


But I love you anyway.

I will state, for the record, may it forever be ingrained within the archives of the interwebs that I am a Christian Guy.

WAIT, wait wait wait, sit yo ass back down, I’m not done! AND DON’T FUCKIN’ ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME, you read this far and I gave you fair warning, dammit.

Now, there are a LOT of Christians out there in the world that would be very upset with me for stating that I’m a Christian and then typing the derogatory phrase telling all my imaginary friends to sit their asses back down. See that’s because just like ANY AND FUNDAMENTAL form of religion (Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Taoist, Wiccan…Pastafarian) the dedicated practitioners of their given religion tend to be a liiiittle uptight. K maybe in some cases, like, a LOTTLE.

We could go into the details about each religion and their beliefs and how they should be practiced and who cares about it and how the fire pokemon are more effective against the grass/earth pokemon but are weaker against water pokemon because well…duh (PLEASE understand that reference) but the truth is THAT book has 1) already been written 2) already been written again and 3) will not stop being talked about amongst people who care passionately about that sort of thing.

I’m not gonna get into that. Instead Imma tell you my thoughts; they’re short ready? pay attention cuz I might only say it once:

  1. Religion and religious beliefs are subjective, they should be between you and the power you believe in.
  2. It doesn’t matter what you believe, a decent human being is a decent human being and likewise for whatever the opposite of that ideal is. DON”T BE FUCKIN SHITTY TO EACH OTHER. I DON”T CARE WHO YOU PRAY TO OR DON”T PRAY TO.
  3. A given person should not try to force his or her beliefs onto anyone without their consent. Nor should that person judge another for anyone’s difference in or lack of beliefs.

There are subtexts but for the sake of keeping it bare and essential. That’s pretty much what it comes down to.

I’m a Christian because I’ve chosen to believe what I believe and I cannot think of any other way to describe it. I believe in an Ultimate Power, we’ll call it God, that created everything. I believe in Jesus of Nazareth, Jesus Christ, same dude. As far as I know and considering what HISTORY ACTUALLY says, he was the man. At the very, barest, least (I dunno if that’s correct but I’m stickin’ with it) in the very MINIMALIST sense; Jesus was a bat-shit crazy homeless, Jewish, dude living in the Middle East (meaning his skin was dark to some degree, because a white dude would not last long in that sun. Trust me. I know.) who preached and taught about love, kindness, forgiveness, and all manner of good things within the moral realm. At the VERY MOST Jesus was GOD in human form. Both forms (the human that called himself Jesus) were brutally scourged and crucified. No matter what you believe, there was a dude, who was all that who died a gruesome death for the sake of humanity. I can dig that.

[“Wait…but there’s this and this and this and blah blah blah this says…”]

SHUT THE FUCK UP. We can talk about it later. Actually no, we don’t have to because I’m not here to discuss my personal religion I’m here to tell you what I believe and what I believe is COMPLETELY SUBJECTIVE TO ME. And, you know, I kinda almost don’t care what you believe in. If you’re an awesome person, and ANYONE and EVERYONE can be an awesome person, I can tell we’ll get along just fine.

I could go on. I choose not to. There’s enough literature to answer your questions. But if you feel so inclined, ask me in the comments section and we’ll taco ’bout it. Hashtag winkyface.

There’ll be more sexy stuff in the next one I promise.

Cheers beautiful people,








One thought on “Religion n’ Stuff (Not that it needs to be said but I feel like I need to say something)

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